What My Father Taught Me: Lessons Passed Down to My Sons

Growing up, my father was both a provider and a protector. He wasn’t just a hotel owner—he was a man who carried immense responsibility on his shoulders. When my mother left, he found himself raising three children alone, including my six-month-old brother. Now that I have nearly completed my own journey as a mother, I often reflect on what he must have felt. The exhaustion, the frustration, and the weight of responsibilities—things only a parent can truly understand.

1. A Father’s Love and Strength

My father was strict, but his love was even greater. Looking back, I realize that his love for me is something no one else can surpass. He protected us, sometimes in ways we didn’t understand as children. He sacrificed his personal comfort and happiness to ensure that we had everything we needed. His love was shown through action, not just words.

One of the strongest lessons he taught me was about trust. He believed in people, even when they betrayed him. I remember watching him and thinking, “Oh, he’s doing it again.” Yet, he never stopped believing in the good in others. And he was always strict about time—he never missed an appointment, never broke a promise. If he said he would do something, he did it, no matter what. That kind of reliability is something I carry with me today.

My father also despised lying. He had an incredible ability to see through deception, and because of that, I have become the same way. Maybe that’s why I find it difficult to trust people who rely only on words without action to back them up. He taught me that honesty is the foundation of integrity, and I have tried to instill this value in my own children.

2. The Struggles of a Single Father

Raising three young children alone was no easy task. My father worked tirelessly to keep our family together. He had to balance running a business with being both mother and father to us. There were days when exhaustion must have overwhelmed him, yet he never let it show.

Life Lessons from a Single Father’s Journey

Meals were prepared by the nanny and aunts and eaten by all the relatives. After school, I went to koto lessons, abacus school, piano and electone lessons, calligraphy classes, and private English lessons. There were times when we, as children, didn’t understand the depth of his sacrifices. But looking back, I see the immense strength it took for him to wake up every morning and push forward, despite the hardships he faced.

3. Growing Up in a Multicultural Environment

Our hotel wasn’t just a business; it was a home filled with diversity. Foreign employees lived and worked there, exposing me to different cultures, foods, and personalities from a young age. This experience shaped me in ways I only fully appreciate now. It sparked my love for international connections, and looking back, I realize how much those early interactions influenced the life I lead today.

At a young age, I learned that people from different backgrounds have unique ways of thinking, different traditions, and varying perspectives on life. I learned to appreciate these differences rather than fear them. These experiences made me open-minded, adaptable, and eager to explore the world beyond Japan.

4. Timeless Values My Father Taught Me

Beyond his strength and resilience, my father taught me many valuable life lessons:

• Keep Your Promises: He always followed through on his word, and I learned that reliability and trustworthiness define a person’s character.
• Work Hard, But Stay Humble: He never bragged about his achievements, but his dedication spoke for itself.
• Respect Everyone: Despite being betrayed by people, he never treated anyone with hostility. He believed in treating others with kindness, even when they didn’t deserve it.
• Always Be On Time: He was strict about time, and this taught me the importance of discipline and respect for other people’s schedules.

5. Passing Down His Wisdom to My Sons

When I was 20, my father, my sister, and I traveled abroad together. It was a special experience, but also bittersweet—my younger brother had passed away when he was just one year old. That trip, however, remains one of my most treasured memories. It was my father’s way of exposing us to the world, of showing us that life exists beyond our small corner of it.

Now, as a mother, I find myself passing on my father’s lessons to my own sons. I teach them the importance of keeping promises, respecting different cultures, and believing in people—even when it’s difficult. His legacy lives on through me, and through them.

I encourage my sons to embrace challenges as my father did, to approach life with resilience and integrity. I remind them that actions speak louder than words and that true strength is shown through perseverance and kindness.

6. Looking Back: Understanding Our Parents’ Silent Strength

For those of us in our 40s and 50s, our relationship with our parents takes on new meaning. We begin to see their struggles with fresh eyes. We understand the sacrifices they made, the lessons they tried to teach, and the silent ways they showed love.

What about you? What lessons from your parents still guide you today? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.